The Bucket List & The Sublist

My bucket list has grown at an increasing rate the last few years.

In fact, I didn't even have one until a few years ago.

Rest assured, it's not an increasing realization of mortality that brings this about, but the freedom from an anchor holding me down that has made me realize that there IS so much more to aspire to, so much more that it was possible to want, to do, to deserve.

Unfortunately, every time I cross a monumental item off my list, it again is added with a renewed vigor.

The first true instance of this was my trip to New York for a collegiate journalism convention.  It was the opportunity of a lifetime to visit Manhattan, stand in Times Square, to pay my respects at the 9/11 Memorial.  I came home with irreplaceable memories, and a whole slew of things I need to next time I even have the remote opportunity to visit.

This past week I scratched off yet another milestone: Las Vegas.  It was a spectacular experience (with much fodder to write about in the near future, both for this one and my beloved foodie outlet - Accidental Foodies Blog), and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to have had my senses overloaded with the wonder that is Sin City.

While big goals are awesome (and accomplishing them even more awesome), I find myself yearning for some of the little things.  Not necessarily things I have to do before I "kick the bucket," but simply things I want to do, because there's really no reason not to and I have no good excuses as to why these items aren't regular occurrences instead of wistful yearnings.

These aren't resolutions - because no one ever keeps those - and I'm not putting a time limit on any of it, because that feels like I'm dooming myself to failure.  These are... "why the hell not?" items on an ever growing to-do list that I should really pay more attention to.  Categorized simply out of a misguided need to organize my thoughts, here's my preliminary list:

Shows

I use this term broadly, a blanket expression with an extraordinary sub-list that highlights things quite often readily available in my immediate area and beyond.  It includes (but is not limited to):

• Movies - quite honestly, this desire comes from being tired of having the same answer to the question "Have you seen...?"  I used to be a wealth of trivial knowledge regarding movies (seriously - I used to be awesome at the Kevin Bacon Game), but that's tapered for a number of reasons.  Quiz me on 90's trivia and I could likely still rock it, but I'm beginning to realize how that kind of knowledge can date me in every stereotypical way.
• Concerts - from dive bar house bands to big names on big stages, there is so much I'm missing and experiences I'll regret not having.  While I'm not the biggest fan of crowds, the goosebumps that result from listing to some really good live music can be worth it.
• Theater - considering I spent three years of high school excelling in technical theater (including an inspiring backstage tour of one of the theaters at Portland Center Stage and clear foreshadowing for my future career as a graphic designer via posters, programs and more), it's sad that I haven't kept up on the promises I made to myself back then - to continue to enjoy the art of live performances.  I used to be the type to check out and read plays from the library - for fun.  Really, what happened to that person?

Sports

Yeah, you probably aren't the only one surprised to find this topic on my list so let me elaborate.  I've never been good at sports (my ability to trip over my own feet probably have something to do with this), however I consider myself a stellar spectator.

First and foremost on my list is baseball.  While the details of America's pastime may blur by me in a statistical daze (RBIs, batting average, even the score for that matter), I enjoy sitting in those plastic seats - most memorably within foul ball territory - eating an overpriced hot dog, listening for the umpire's name despite knowing I won't recognize it (my uncle David would have most likely, having gone to umpire school), the telltale crack of a ball being hit out of the park, and rooting for the home team - whether they win or not.

The Angels have and always will be my team, no matter where I call home, but I wouldn't mind checking out what the more local teams have to offer while I root for my beloved team in spirit.

Following baseball would be basketball.  Living in the Portland Metro Area, it is near shameful to admit I have never been to a Blazer game, let alone a basketball game outside of my years in high school.  I've watched plenty of games on television, even had a peripheral emotional attachment to the outcome of particular games, but it's not the same as sitting in the stands hearing the roar of the crowd.

Also on my list believe-it-or-not is football (again, another sport that I haven't seen live since my days of getting into the game free with a student ID card), and hockey (stemming from a long ago wish to see the Anaheim Ducks play at the Arrowhead Pond - which is no longer the Arrowhead Pond).

Social

I get too wrapped up in work, that's no secret, but I've been trying to take strides that will lead me to better enjoy the time spent not working.

For instance, for lunch I've began frequenting the local bar.  It's not alcohol that's the allure, but two other perks: socialization, and forcing myself to enjoy 60 minutes of work-free time that I would have otherwise spent working regardless of whether or not I was getting paid.  Time not staring at a computer screen, not stressing over clients, not obsessing over tasks needing to be done.  Novel concept, isn't it?

It's been an interesting experiment and I'm thinking it's time to expand its parameters.  I hear that (now don't quote me on this), that people go out after work and on weekends.  This is a fascinating phenomenon that merits further exploration on my part, though I fear lack of acceptance by the indigenous creatures will have me scurrying back to the relative security of a computer screen and keyboard.

(I exaggerate for dramatic purposes of course, though the truth probably isn't far off.)

In a lot of ways, I think this "goal" revolves around the urge to share these experiences.  I want to include people in my life who would like to enjoy these things too, mutually motivating and inspiring each other to do these things and more.

Overall, these aren't lofty goals and above all else require little more than motivation (both my own and whatever friends I wrangle into joining me in above mentioned activities) and a realization that it is okay to take a break every once in a while.

I work dang hard for my clients and always go above and beyond what is called for.  I put in more time, energy, consideration, focus, blood, sweat and tears into projects than necessary - because that's just how I work.  I worry about a lot, beyond my job title, beyond by job scope and responsibilities, beyond what is required.  I need to get it into my head that these goals aren't goals - they're rewards for that hard work I take so much pride in.

As my wise boss recently said, "You work hard so now it's time to play hard. Capish!?"

I think I'm finally starting to get it.  

A Strategic Anniversary

Three-hundred and sixty-five days ago, I was sitting exactly where I sit now, but in a completely different mindset.

I was anxious, nervous.  Hell, let's be honest, I was clueless.  

Just days before, I had undergone a job interview.  I showed up with sweaty palms and what felt like stuttering answers to seemingly simple questions, singing the praises of a degree that the ink wasn't yet quite dry on.  Faced opposite the owner - a snazzily dressed slip of a man with a winning smile - and the director of operations - a guru of technical know-how with a laid back Hawaiian mentality - I couldn't be more uncomfortable, but somehow I survived.  

In fact, I not only survived, I was called the next day with an eager "you start next week!" which brings us to a year ago today.

I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I had hope, aspirations and the drive to see where the adventure could lead me.  I was a greenhorn joining a well established ship, exploring a world I had a peripheral skill-set to prepare me for.

It was a risk, and I'm glad I took it.

Tomorrow I'll have been at my job for an entire year.

Can you believe that?  A year.

While it may have taken a little time and more than a little effort, I'm to the point that every day I get to do what I enjoy, what I'm good at.  Every day I get to learn a little more, grow a little more.  Sure, there are frustrations, it comes with any job that involves any sort of interaction with... well... rush hour traffic, finicky computers, inanimate objects (such as coffee makers), er.. people - but I still find myself pretty damn lucky.

It's a strategic anniversary I tell ya, and given how far I've come in the last three-hundred and sixty-five days, I really can't wait to see what the next year has to offer.

Looking For the Oscar to My Felix

As progress forever trudges forward, my living situation has become a topic of consideration.

My current daily commute averages 20-30 minutes, if traffic is in my favor.  It's not horrible, though slightly mind numbing, especially when freeway speeds crawl within the mid-20 mile per hour range for no apparent reason.

While it's tolerable, progress as we know it is pushing for a decision:  Face a commute at least double my current trek, or move out of a town that has been my comfort zone for too many years to count.

Aside from a near decade long stint in my sunny southern California home away from home, I've only lived in this town.  In fact, I was born just a couple miles from where I sit now typing these words.  I don't know my way around many other towns, quite possibly on purpose, so the new debate of moving to a city I'm not even entirely sure I've visited has me a little on edge.

Putting that wallop of a detail aside, there's the idea of my future potential roommate.

Over the years, I've had a lot of roommates.  Some good.  Some bad.  Some... indescribable.

The Odd Couple - Tony Randall &  Jack Klugman

The only reason I even consider it now, is because I'm pretty dang sure I don't want to live alone.  I want to share the responsibility, the worry, and I think I need the cohabitation, companionship.

I have some good things to offer as a roommate, really I do.

I have a steady job and pay my bills (fearing debt worse than a cavity, and I dread those).  I clean up after myself and often clean when home alone and bored.  I cook (my foodie blog should be an example of such), and when I do cook, I prefer to cook for more than just myself.  I'm quiet.  I pretty much keep to myself.  Despite being an only child, I have figured out how to share.  I share my video games.  I appear to be a decent go-to person for technical issues including setup and troubleshooting of home entertainment systems and computers.

Here's the thing, there's a few things that I require in a roommate.

They must have a steady job and pay their bills (come on now, that's not too lofty).  While I don't mind doing more than my fair share of the cleaning, slobs will drive me batty.  Though I might occasionally take on motherly characteristics, I am not a mother and do not feel obligated to clean up after anyone as such.  Consideration for others is a big plus - all it takes is a little forethought and afterthought, though it's quite often neglected.  Those with severe pet allergies need not apply - my feelings for my kids (at the moment 2 cats) outweigh my empathy for allergies.  Priority consideration will be given to those willing to kill anything with six or more legs (with or without wings).

So as I ponder my great leap to the other side of the river, I can't help but wonder - will it be possible to find not only a suitable home sweet home that will put me within reach of a tolerable commute, but also a worthy Oscar to my Felix?

I suppose I should start putting feelers out, because as I said before, progress keeps marching on.

Setting Goals & Reaching Them

I find I do a lot better with a goal in mind.

Throughout school, each term became a challenge, a chance to excel, until that last term when that walk across the stage to accept my diploma took precedence.

Along that educational path, I had a few other big aspirations pop up unexpectedly that were not only pretty dang awesome, but check-marks off my elusive bucket list such as a trip to Seattle and New York City via the perks that came being on the college newspaper.

After college, a job became the goal, one quickly fulfilled perhaps by luck, fate or sheer determination - I'm still not quite sure, but as I've said before on the topic, I'm grateful.

Once I started my job, the goal was getting into a position that fully utilized my skills.  That effort took all of three months - thankyouverymuch.  Yes, I know that's pretty awesome, but I digress.

Since then, I think I've been lacking that drive, that aim towards a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.  Sure, I have some long term goals in place, but it's possible a short term goal has been in order.

So what did I do?  I set a goal.  Not five minutes later (okay, so that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but bear with me), that goal - a bucket list item - became a realization.

I'm going to Las Vegas.

Come August, I'll have finally paid that infamous city a visit and so many great experiences await me.  Not only some amazing, drool-worthy dining experiences, but my FIRST ever visit to a casino (yes, I know, well past due), and the cherry on the cake, my first Broadway musical -  front row even.

How's that for awesome?

To be honest, I'm not sure I've had a vacation where I wasn't visiting family or had a journalism convention to attend.  I'll be meeting family there - but this is different, this is an actual vacation.  Beyond strange... but in a good way.

I'm positively giddy.

Sure, I know after this I'll have to aim for yet another lofty goal, but you know what - it's worth it.  I need something to push towards, big or small.  Until then, it's a count down - 56 days.

Eee!

Shooting For the Moon

Ambition is a funny thing.

By definition, it means a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.  In practice, more than anything I believe ambition requires patience.

Why is this funny?  Mostly because I'm notorious for a lack of patience.

For the past few years, I'm proud to say I've been very ambitious.  Went back to school, studied hard, graduated with honors.  Started a tiny little side business, took on an extremely wide variety of projects, gained invaluable experience.  Got an awesome job, actually use my degree, validated for my talents.  Pretty dang cool if I do say so myself.

So what have I been striving for lately?

Hehe.

To prove that there's so much more to my praised, mad skills - and I'll do so every time I get the chance.

In my time as a graphic designer I've created: logos, business cards, letterheads, tee-shirts, social graphics, website graphics, envelopes, product labels, greeting cards, memes, newspaper ads, magazine ads, website ads, tabletop ads, stickers, bumper stickers, pens, pins, hats, CD cases, zines, book covers, flyers, brochures, pamphlets, posters, banners, feather flags, trade show booth panels, even a graphic that ended up plastered to the side of a party bus.

Not too shabby, eh?

As a web designer, while I relish in and quite enjoy many of the technical, tedious and tiresome aspects of the job, it's the design - the visual and aesthetics, the look and feel - that will always drive me because no matter how much time, effort, blood, sweat and tears I pour into a site, it's the user experience that will keep people there once they've found it.

Bringing these two distinctly different but remarkably similar designer sides of myself together has always made sense to me.  I take great satisfaction in bringing a certain coherence and continuity to every design, and if I can bring that into not just a single design, but into a brand, I see nothing but potential.

I'm excited to be a part of a company that's growing, a position that's growing, that's enabled me to develop this side of myself.  I'm lucky really, damn lucky.

I learned several years back that's not enough to maintain status quo, there's no fulfillment in it.  I plan on continuously proving myself as an asset, continuously learning something more and striving towards something greater.  It's who I've become, and I'm pretty okay with that.

This is progress dear blog, progress and I gotta say, it feels good.