Tuesday, May 13, 2014

One Step at a Time

I've encountered more evidence - it's becoming harder to deny:  I think I may be an adult.

Not only do I have insurance, but I used it to visit the dentist.

I know, right?  Shocker.

The absolute best part?  (Aside from walking out without paying a single dime, of course.)  No cavities!  

Whether it be confidence from the above mentioned good news, adding another year to my age in a mere 23 days, or the optimism that comes from a Tuesday that didn't suck for a number of reasons, I took another big step:  made a doctor's appointment.  While this may not be a big deal to some, it is to me.

It's been a while since I've had a doctor.  To be honest, I don't like 'em much, they make me anxious, nervous.  The big words don't help, neither do a couple not necessarily bad experiences in the past, but experiences none the less that have stuck worse than gum embedded in the deep tread of an old shoe.

They say scent is the sense that has the strongest relation to memory, and I think they're right.  Green soap I can handle, even look forward to (tattooed readers will understand this).  However, whatever antibacterial chemicals they use in doctor's offices and hospitals is enough to put me on edge as much as the linoleum tile, no-pile carpet and early nineties monochromatic paintings adoring the walls.  Ugh.

So again, this is a big deal.  I've had insurance for months now, so it's about time I took advantage of it - despite my obvious reservations.  I'm proud of myself dangit.  The doctor I found is just a few years older than myself, with a background that reminds me of a cousin and she has a focus on women's health.  I think I'm going to like her, which in a lot of ways I think will be the half the battle between me and my healthcare-related anxiety.

Maybe it's just because I've accomplished a hell of a lot in the last year, but somehow I just need to keep this motivation going or it will fizzle and burn out.  These are big strides for me - even if they've only been taken with baby steps - though honestly I'm just glad to be heading in the right direction - wherever it may lead.

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